Everybody on the internet is wrong and I am right. These are definitively the best and worst red carpet looks of the 2016 Grammy Awards. I am absolutely biased. I am also broke and can't afford to license actual images from the Grammy Awards red carpet, so here are my opinions (which are also facts) and links to images. This is the best I can do until you punk asses start paying me/I figure out how to work Google AdSense. Sorry not sorry.
Very Official Best Dressed List:
- FLORENCE WELCH I can't believe how many worst dressed lists she was on. This Gucci dress was fantastic, ok? Get with the program. If you heathens knew anything about Flo's eccentric and flawless style, you would be like, that dress is so Flo. Go Flo. Those sleeves with the dragonflies? UH-MAZING.
- TAYLOR SWIFT LETS TALK ABOUT THOSE BANGS, YO. Way to rock the Anna Wintour look. It's a little more severe than we're used to, Tay, but you slayed in that cut. I took your Kanye-slaying way more seriously in that cut. Nobody fucks with Taylor Swift. And that Atelier Versace number was what dreams are made of. That skirt gave me a skirtgasm. I didn't even know a skirtgasm was a thing, but it is now.
- GIULIANA RANCIC G tries so hard to always make it onto a best-dressed list, so I'm gonna give it to her. This dress is amazing. She looks like a Roman goddess. The color and her ridiculously dark tan complement each other so well, and that slicked back hair makes her look like she just emerged from the sea.
- LADY GAGA Those shoulder pads were fierce and those shoes must be her highest ones to date.
- DIAMOND WHITE Her strategically placed white embroidery on black chiffon POPPED so good my eyes popped out.
- ZURI HALL IS A VISION AND THAT IS ALL.
- CIARA Who does not want to have sex with Ciara in this dress?
- DEMI LOVATO I am totally digging the body chain under the blazer.
- ANOUSHKA SKANKAR WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS DRESS???
- LAUREN DAIGLE OR THIS ONE????
Worst Dressed List:
- ELLE KING Bad, bad feathers. This dress is busier than an accountant during tax season. Feathers, Sequins, Embroidery, Fringe, Bracelets, RingS. Too much.
- TOVE LO This isn't even about the nose ring. This is about the tacky, Forever 21-esque, eighties-inspired lace that this dress is made of. And that eyeshadow job that makes her look like she's in the middle of one hell of a bender.
- ANDRA DAY I am about everything she is wearing except I am not about wearing it all at once. What is going on??
- ASHLEY MONROE New 2016 Trend: Boob Capes.
- VANESSA SIMMONS This dress looks like she sewed together her dorm room zebra-print curtains. I would almost be okay with the yellow zebra print, but that solid yellow business down the middle is a damn shame.
Most Underwhelming List:
- ARIANA GRANDE Ariana Grande's in red dress with another high pony. It's pretty. It's probably the greatest thing she's ever worn on a red carpet. But it's also pretty boring.
- ANNA KENDRICK Her hair and make up look lovely, but she looks like she's going to a stodgy gala in this dress. We know how fun you are, Anna Kendrick, and this dress, although very pretty, is no match for you.
- ELLIE GOULDING Belonged in this dress before I saw the back of it.
- SELENA GOMEZ This look's like the popular girl's senior prom dress.
Most Confused List:
- JANELLE MONAE I just. I think it's that hat.
- KACEY MUSGRAVES I think I love this dress, but I'm not 100% sure. The ombre is gorgeous, the color is gorgeous, the silhouette is so glamorous. The three-dimensional fabric is almost a little too Limited-Too-Sweater-esque. But I think I am about this dress. And her subtly coordinating lipstick???
- ZENDAYA GIRL. Is that a mullet? What? Why? How was that a good idea? There are better ways to channel Bowie. Your suit is so cute. Those bangs look so fresh. BUT THE MULLET, GIRL. I JUST CAN'T.
- CAM I have looked at this dress 10 times and still have no idea how I feel about it. Like, I REALLY like it, but at the same time, I REALLY don’t.
- SKYLAR GREY I love everything about this except the fact that there is a face on her vag. WHY?