Give Your Internal Head Coach a Break

Do you know what I’ve been thinking? That it’s absurd for us to expect that we will always be able to find motivation within ourselves. So many of us do this, including us folks who would have the hardest time doing it— those with depression, or mood disorders, lyme disease, mono, and all sorts of other issues that affect our energy levels. And we feel BAD about feeling unmotivated. (Bonus: feelings about your feelings are called meta-emotion. Like, when you feel like a failure for feeling too depressed? THAT'S a meta emotion).

This just seems so futile to me. Sometimes you just CAN'T, ya know? Sometimes you're burnt out and you can't find it in you to go on. You’ve depleted your emotional and mental resources…

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The Parable of the Tomato Plant

I am a plant lady. This is not news; it is merely a fact that must be presented before I proceed with this story.

What follows is a real-life parable. It’s a story about a tomato plant. RIVETING stuff.

In case you forgot what a parable is, it is a simple story told to teach a lesson. Keep in mind that this particular parable is about an event that actually happened, unlike a story I was told about TURNING WATER INTO WINE, which I still have yet to prove is possible. SMH.

I am a plant lady. I have plants on the patio. Plants in the living room. Plants in the bathroom. Plants on the window sill in the kitchen. The latter are all herbs. They sit on a south-facing window sill in a sunny spot where…

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Stop Managing a Messy Life

I work a fast-paced day job as a metaphorical fruit ninja. It’s a ton of fun, but when a metaphorical fruitstorm comes flying my way, my entire life goes on hold. Time to shampoo? NO WAY! Throw that bedhead in a sock bun and run, don’t walk, out the front door. Just got home after a 10-hour day? Better leave those black leggings on the floor where ya took ‘em off, ‘cause you know they’re going back on again tomorrow with a different top! By the end of a week like this, my apartment looks like it’s been trampled by a cat 3 hurricane and I’m left spending precious free time picking up the pieces of my life. It’s ex.haust.ing.

A big part of this chaotic cycle comes from my perfectionist tendencies—if I can’t get the whole damn place clean, I don’t want to bother cleaning at all. The other issue here is the sheer magnitude of crap that I hold onto. If I had less of it, there’d be less of a mess to clean up each week, right? It’s not like we’re talking rocket science here.

So recently, with my twenty-mlehmleh-th birthday rapidly approaching, I made a radical decision to hurdle over my perfectionism paralysis…

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Paralyzing Perfectionism

 
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This perfectionist started her morning off with a satisfying Naked smoothie. Nothing tastes better than being able to finish off the bottle of your mango goodness in one pour!

I’m sure many of you can relate and might identify as perfectionists as well, at least in some aspect of your lives. Little moments like this are just oh, so magical.But I’ve also learned that a lot of my struggles with procrastination and motivation actually stem from a need for perfection. For me, the biggest one is writer’s block. I find myself spending all my energy procrastinating instead of actually writing and then the day goes by and I hate myself for it.

It took me too long to realize this isn’t because I’m lazy. I know when I sit down to write I can be there for hours fixating on each word to ensure my sentiment is received. Once I discovered that my habit of procrastinating wasn’t due to a lack of motivation but, was a result of my perfectionist tendencies, I became aware and was able to focus on that by trying not to put so much pressure on myself. Sometimes you just have to write and allow it not to be “perfect” (whatever that means) otherwise you risk resenting something that is crucial to your happiness. I was, in fact, less motivated the longer I put off writing what I wanted to.

So, relish in these satisfying moments of fulfilled perfectionism, don’t let it be another thing you’re hard on yourself for, but don’t allow it to stop you from being you. It’s not your identity.