Give Your Internal Head Coach a Break

Do you know what I’ve been thinking? That it’s absurd for us to expect that we will always be able to find motivation within ourselves. So many of us do this, including us folks who would have the hardest time doing it— those with depression, or mood disorders, lyme disease, mono, and all sorts of other issues that affect our energy levels. And we feel BAD about feeling unmotivated. (Bonus: feelings about your feelings are called meta-emotion. Like, when you feel like a failure for feeling too depressed? THAT'S a meta emotion).

This just seems so futile to me. Sometimes you just CAN'T, ya know? Sometimes you're burnt out and you can't find it in you to go on. You’ve depleted your emotional and mental resources…

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Paralyzing Perfectionism

 
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This perfectionist started her morning off with a satisfying Naked smoothie. Nothing tastes better than being able to finish off the bottle of your mango goodness in one pour!

I’m sure many of you can relate and might identify as perfectionists as well, at least in some aspect of your lives. Little moments like this are just oh, so magical.But I’ve also learned that a lot of my struggles with procrastination and motivation actually stem from a need for perfection. For me, the biggest one is writer’s block. I find myself spending all my energy procrastinating instead of actually writing and then the day goes by and I hate myself for it.

It took me too long to realize this isn’t because I’m lazy. I know when I sit down to write I can be there for hours fixating on each word to ensure my sentiment is received. Once I discovered that my habit of procrastinating wasn’t due to a lack of motivation but, was a result of my perfectionist tendencies, I became aware and was able to focus on that by trying not to put so much pressure on myself. Sometimes you just have to write and allow it not to be “perfect” (whatever that means) otherwise you risk resenting something that is crucial to your happiness. I was, in fact, less motivated the longer I put off writing what I wanted to.

So, relish in these satisfying moments of fulfilled perfectionism, don’t let it be another thing you’re hard on yourself for, but don’t allow it to stop you from being you. It’s not your identity.

5 Self Care Steps You Should Take Right Now

Happy Sunday, Fab Feminists!

I wanted to share something that I've been practicing when I feel like my life is running me and not the other way around: treating the five senses. I've found that if I take a couple minutes to focus on the needs of each of my senses, it takes me out of my stress-bubble and allows me  to ground myself quickly and effectively. Do one activity for each sense in whatever order you feel like! Combine them into one activity if you want, but make sure to spend equal time engaging each sensation.


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Spend Some Time with Yourself

It may be that I just finished a mini-marathon of Sex and the City, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I've had three whole days to myself. If you're in a long-term, live-in relationship like I am, it's pretty easy to lose perspective of who your independent self is after a few years. A night or a weekend on your own is a great refresher--I forgot how much I liked spending time with myself! Today was the first day that I had all to myself, start to finish. Oh, man, was it fun. I talked to my other half in the morning, bathed for the first time that day, bought a couple books on Audible (they're having a killer $4.95 sale right now, don't miss out), WALKED to the West Palm Beach Saturday Morning Market, talked to strangers, bathed for a second time, purged some of my costume jewelry, went on a me-date to Whole Foods (Whole Farts as my bae calls it) for dinner, started my mini Sex and the City marathon, stood on my patio soaking in the cool night air, and finally crawled into bed.

I haven't done the dishes all weekend. I shaved my armpits for the first time in five days today. I littered the apartment with dirty laundry, I'm all out of fresh underwear, and I don't give a damn. It felt good to be a foul bachelorette frog for a couple days. I got to hog the whole bed, too--I joke that it's an improvement on the 75% that I normally hog...

If I've learned one thing this weekend, it's the importance of spending time with yourself. Not by yourself, but with yourself. Present in the moment and enjoying yourself. It can be hard with another person to think of amongst the day-to-day hustle, but if you have an opportunity to spend a holiday apart or get away for a weekend without it being a big deal, do it! Book a cheap last minute hotel room for a night! Wake up late and go to the pool! Spend time in your own quiet comfort. You might just find what you weren't looking for.