Ultimate Gift Guide for the Babe in Black

You can already picture them: the friend who asks every sales associate, "Does this come in black?" You know, the one who will live and die by monochrome? Obviously, you're going to get them something black, but what??? What else could they POSSIBLY need in black? Don't worry, I've got the answer for you in this flawless gift guide.*

*Can be used to convert friends to the dark side

1. The Boscia Luminizing Black Mask

I looooooove this mask. With a little patience (seriously, wait until it's completely dry) and a little skill (ya gotta roll the edges in towards your nose) this peel-off charcoal mask will pull the gunk right outta your face. Buy it at Sephora!

sephora

sephora

2. Erno Laszlo Sea Mud Deep Cleansing Bar

I first got hooked on this cleanser last year when I was working as a brand ambassador. I brought a bar over to my girl, Alex, CEO of Compulsive Nails, and her jaw about hit the bathroom counter when she dried off her face and looked in the mirror. The results are immediately visible. You’ll be left cry-laughing at your reflection going, “My pores...my pores...I can’t find my pores…” It’s hypo-allergenic, made with an absurd 97% natural ingredients, and will clear anything dead out of your face faster than you can say, “Holy blackheads, Batman!” PRO TIP: FOLLOW OUR INSTA @FABFEMINISTBLOG AND ‘LIKE’ THIS PHOTO TO GET YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON SOME FREE SAMPS. YOU’RE WELCOME, CREATURES OF THE INTERNET.

NORDSTROM

NORDSTROM

3. Christian Louboutin Nail Polish in Kohl

If a pair of these badboys is outta the budget and your vanity spread is a top priority, consider purchasing some glossy black nail polish in Khol by Louboutin. It’s almost like TEN tiny Louboutins on your fingertips! Plus, just think how great this bottle and it’s sky-high, stiletto-inspired applicator will look on your altar AHEM I MEAN VANITY TABLE.

NORDSTROM

NORDSTROM

4. MAC Liptensity in Stallion

Four years ago, I went on a perilous journey in search of the sold-out Black Friday limited edition MAC lipstick. After scouring the internet, multiple phone calls, and an over the phone purchase, I was finally the proud owner of not one, but three, Hautecore tubes of lipstick. Last Black Friday, Mac released Stallion in its Liptensity line and for $21, it was a steal! We’re excited go see what this year’s limited edition Black Friday score will be. 

NORDSTROM

NORDSTROM

5. Compulsive Nail's Plaid Wraps

Okay, so these aren’t entirely black but we were on a punk rock kick and I couldn’t help myself. Compulsive Nails designed these for me back in January ‘14 for a month-long frolic in London. I had my Hautecore lipstick, my faux leather leggings, and some cherry red Dr. Martens and I was READY. These nails were like icing on the cake! Wear them for the holidays or whenever the heck you want because you’re punk rock as sh*t and don’t need a reason. Compulsive Nails is actually retiring this season, so grab these NOW before they’re gone forever!!

6. Molr's C&C Whitening Factory

C&C is hands down one of my new favorite products. It leaves your teeth feeling squeaky clean. You can SEE results. It's made of finely-powdered charcoal and coconut, both of which are known for their teeth whitening properties. It comes with a super cute teal toothbrush and has no flavor--not a bad flavor, not a  minty flavor, NO flavor. Thus making it a no-brainer, amirite?? It's one of the big reasons I decided to splurge for the Fab Fit Fun subscription box, WHICH YOU CAN ALSO GET HERE.

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The Shopper's Guide to Feelin' Yourself in the Dressing Room

 
 

There's nothing quite as depressing as trying clothing on in a dressing room and NOT FEELING YOURSELF IN ANYTHING. If you're looking to amp up your wardrobe (you picked the right time, btw, summer sale season is HERE and I am LIVING), don't go near a shopping center without feeling your best. YOU DESERVE TO BE FEELINYA FEELINYA FEELINYASELFFF. Here's what I do before I do any serious shopping:

  1. Put on proper undergarments. This usually means a laser cut pair of underwear and a nude strapless bra (with straps on) so you are ready for anything that goes on that sessy bod of yours.
  2. Wear some neutral faves. Your favorite jeans, some understated heels (lifts the butt and makes the legs look 100, hence FEELIN' YOURSELF), a top that'll go with everything (think white, cream, black, chambray, etc.)
  3. Slap some make up on because those lights are unforgiving as heck and you want to look ALIVE.
  4. Squirt some mousse in that hair and treat yourself to a scalp massage for some lusciously voluminous locks.
  5. Poop. I don't know what it is, but every time I set foot in a mall, I have to crap my pants. I don't know what it is. I KNOW I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE. So if you're like me, plan ahead, buy a coffee at the food court, and hang out for 20 minutes so you can poop PRIOR to taking off all your clothes in a small room 300 feet away from the nearest expertly hidden bathroom. You'll feel better, too, 'cuz those poop endorphins are real and a less bloated belly will do wonders for your shopping experience.

I'm a Shameless Basic, Whatever, I'm Over it, Let's go to Starbucks.

Ya’ll I had the most basic bitch Thursday you have ever known. I’ve leveled up farther than I ever thought possible. I mean, I drank I drank a Starbucks venti mocha latte and bought my first VS bra in years (YEARS, PEOPLE). ALSO. I have been converted to the bralette. My boobs look so perky and old-school. 10/10 recommend. Then I went to the Apple store and had them fix a thing. I got my toenails painted (My body is decidedly NOT a wonderland I mean my technician was practically shoveling cuticle it was disgusting) and bought three bottles of Champagne for New Year’s Eve JUST TO PREGAME. (Korbel is $4 less/bottle if you go to Trader Joe’s).

I ordered myself the Ink + Volt 2017 planner. I am ecstatic to use it. I reorganized my workout drawer and filled in my brows. Then I drove to a hip fucking coffee shop (Common Grounds Coffee Bar in Lake Worth, FL) next to Florida’s greatest record store (Top Five Records), ordered a lavender London fog and SAT DOWN TO WRITE THIS BLOG POST. I’m disgusting. Did I mention my hair’s in a messy bun and I’m in athletic wear? OF COUSE IT IS/I AM. YOU LOVE IT BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU COULD BE AS BASIC AS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FREE YOURSELFFFFFFF.

The only thing I haven’t done today is take a selfie. But there are still five hours and fourty-five minutes left of this day SO ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

 

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