I'm a Shameless Basic, Whatever, I'm Over it, Let's go to Starbucks.

Ya’ll I had the most basic bitch Thursday you have ever known. I’ve leveled up farther than I ever thought possible. I mean, I drank I drank a Starbucks venti mocha latte and bought my first VS bra in years (YEARS, PEOPLE). ALSO. I have been converted to the bralette. My boobs look so perky and old-school. 10/10 recommend. Then I went to the Apple store and had them fix a thing. I got my toenails painted (My body is decidedly NOT a wonderland I mean my technician was practically shoveling cuticle it was disgusting) and bought three bottles of Champagne for New Year’s Eve JUST TO PREGAME. (Korbel is $4 less/bottle if you go to Trader Joe’s).

I ordered myself the Ink + Volt 2017 planner. I am ecstatic to use it. I reorganized my workout drawer and filled in my brows. Then I drove to a hip fucking coffee shop (Common Grounds Coffee Bar in Lake Worth, FL) next to Florida’s greatest record store (Top Five Records), ordered a lavender London fog and SAT DOWN TO WRITE THIS BLOG POST. I’m disgusting. Did I mention my hair’s in a messy bun and I’m in athletic wear? OF COUSE IT IS/I AM. YOU LOVE IT BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU COULD BE AS BASIC AS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FREE YOURSELFFFFFFF.

The only thing I haven’t done today is take a selfie. But there are still five hours and fourty-five minutes left of this day SO ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.


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I have no idea how late to the party I am, but I was just window shopping on the Internet and stumbled upon some life-changing information:

1. Victoria's Secret is now selling bras that accommodate big-busted/tiny-banded people. AND THEY'RE CUTE.

2. Their sports bra game is killer and all-encompassing. Like, holy shit. 

3. And perhaps the biggest game-changer, a new method of sizing has been introduced in the BRALETTE DEPARTMENT to allow for the perfect fit. There are now TWO variations for each size: S (A-C) and S (D-DD), M (A-C) and M (D-DD), and L (A-C) and L (DD). The plight of the tetons is over! We can all wear bralettes in comfort! Hip, hip, hooray!