How I Cut Back On Avocado Toast


This piece has been revised and improved since its original posting on May 25, 2017.

Let me just say right now, right here: I have never eaten avocado toast. I don't even BUY avocados because every time I BUY an avocado, it's not ripe enough to eat and it spoils before I realize it's edible. I have a mountain of student debt that eats up a couple hundred dollars of my income every month. I live in a city where millennials live with their parents at a higher rate than anywhere else in the country. Only at 25 did I become financially independent for the first time in my life.

The 'Avocado Toast' Philosophy, in case you don't remember, was first presented by Tim Gurner on 60 Minutes while preaching to millennials about how to buy a house, as if frivolity was the only reason we can't afford to go hundreds of thousands further in debt. Taken as a blanket statement, it oversimplifies the problem and vilifies the millennial. We live in such a polar society (it's absolute absurdity that we can't all accept that trans folks deserve respect and acceptance, people with vaginas deserve access to whatever birth control they want, the patriarchy damages everyone, and children deserve access to a good education/the fact that school funding comes from property tax is a CLASSIST IN ITS VERY NATURE. But I digress) but if we consider that there could be some truth to the statement that millennials spend frivolously, we can begin to examine where we ourselves might be spending money where we don't have to. Hear me out.

We have grown up with access to the internet. We lived pre-Great Recession and are notoriously nostalgic. We LOOOOOOOVE brunch. We know what it's like to have shitty prospects and want to live in the present moment. None of these things are our fault, but it couldn't hurt to take a second to consider how they affect our decisions now, right?  Asking ourselves, "Where's the toast?" and, "How can I eliminate the excess in my own life in order to feel more fulfilled?" can mean the difference between financial independence and paycheck to paycheck.

SO! Where to start? Take a good, hard look at the stuff you mindlessly impulse purchase. Meals out, cell phone apps, nail/hair appointments, Starbucks. The stuff you think counts as "treating yourself" that serves no purpose after that instant gratification fix. When I realized I was spending over $1,100 a year on my hair and nails alone, I was flabbergasted. Giving up my nex-gen nails and wax appointments was an easy way to make a LOT of cushion in my budget. There's this great app called Clarity (which I like better than Mint by QuickBooks) that simplifies what you spend money on, helps you track your habits, AND encourages you to start a saving habit.

This next tip might sound harder than you think it is, but: utility usage can be a great way to squeeze a little more blood out of a turnip--er, avocado. Being mindful about how much water you consume can make a significant impact in your wallet. From personal experience, I can tell you that mindful water consumption meant the difference between a 50% increase and a reasonable bill. You can also implement a grey water system to mindfully conserve water AND your spending. Check on your cell phone plan and auto insurance, too; updating these bills to reflect your current usage is a great way to maintain control over your finances.

Giuls and I talk really openly about our finances and what we're doing to manage our spending. We even created a buddy system for spending frugally while on vacation. To help me stay on the straight an narrow with my day to day spending, Giuls created a budget sheet that YOU can download here! This worksheet is formulated to easily calculate your monthly expenses and we're PRETTY DARN PROUD of it. Here's to taking responsibility of our spending and focusing inward to live our best lives!

Avoiding a Quarter-Life Fashion Crisis

So you're twenty-something years old just like 25 million Americans also happen to be, and if you're also anything like me, you are having a VERY hard time dressing like an adult while still maintaining your ~youthful vibes~. I have a lot of gorgeous dresses that friends have passed my way, and all of a sudden I realized yesterday that everything I own is...conservative. It's not form-fitting, or it's got long sleeves, or it's cocktail-dress-you-can-meet-your-partner's-grandma-in appropriate, and it's a lovely dress, really, but you just feel as though you're dressing like you're thirty-four and not twenty-four. Honey, I feel you, and I'm here to share with you the epiphany I had last night: there are only two things to spice up any outfit. They are:

1. A Pair of Big, Bold Earrings.

Add some punch to your outfit by donning a pair of earrings that shout, "I am a bold bitch and I am here to party!" Nobody will even think to assume that you only paint your face with foundation once a week and spend the rest of your waking post-work-day hours sitting on the couch in smelly pajamas completely sober. Here are our favorites and click-links to purchase, because duh.

2. A Pair of Party Shoes

If you've been looking for an excuse to go shoe shopping, HERE IT IS! By order of the Fab Feminist, I hereby grant you permission to swipe and buy. Killer shoes are my favorite way to liven up any outfit. Strappy designs, metallics, bright colors, and animal prints are your ticket to fierce feet, and although there's nothing in this world I love more than a pair of six inch heels, I've included a few flats for our more practical fab readers.